The Bass Geek

Subscribing to some NPR podcasts helps me in a few ways:

• Time-shifting “This American Life” to a more reasonable hour, i.e. any time but that weird Saturday night time slot it currently occupies on my local station
• Getting some programs said local station doesn’t carry
• Acting as a safety net for things I miss during my drive time (short as it is, this can add up)

Which is why I was delighted that the podcasts caught Victor Wooten on NPR giving an impromptu bass lesson to the nation on the subject of double-thumbing and the open-hammer pluck. It was cool not only because of the subject matter, but hearing the announcer speak these terms almost gave them an air of the martial arts movie - like they were moves Shaolin monks sought to master before defeating the usurpers of their style. He also talked a bit about the book he recently published, which I have on order but have not yet read.

Which somewhat countered the slam on bassists from last Sunday’s “Metalocalypse.” Following a grim attempt to pick up two women, Murderface ran into a torrent of insults such as “Shouldn’t you be loading the band’s gear?” and “Why don’t you act like a bass player and stand over there and be inaudible?” My wife gave me such a look of pity after that last one.

Robbie Fulks has already shared his view of bassists, so I thought I’d toss in an insight into the denizens of the low end - courtesy of William Muderface, bassist for Dethklok, just after his bass solo had been usurped by his bandmates’ auto accident:

“Why do I get pre-empted? You know why? ‘Cause I’m just the stupid bass player. Why don’t I just play behind the bass amp? Maybe that would be good. Then album sales would go up. Who am I fooling? I don’t deserve the spotlight. I thought I could maybe just once, just once be in the spotlight. That’s all I want. Just once.”

Who hasn’t felt that way at some point, though? I regard this not as a lonely call for unrequited attention, but further proof that the bassist is Everyman, the personified hero of all folks, common and otherwise. His is the struggle of everybody who ever sought, ever struggled, ever tried to attain a little sun while making sure the foundation was strong and sure for his fellow compatriots. He is the figure for whom Copland composed, Whitman wrote, and Debs struggled. He is you. He is me. Probably more me, but it’s just as valid.

Or it’s just sad. I could go either way.

New episodes of Metalocalypse are back, and I feel that all is a little bit better for it.  Just the right blend of outrageous humor and cringe-worthy brutality.  Amazing.

So Wired magazine details in this article a plan to highlight in the CES Intel keynote a virtual jam (with some members onstage and some at a safer location, one would imagine) with the good folks of Smash Mouth. The idea is to highlight the ability to collaborate over a network and involve the use of avatars and virtual spaces.

Which is cool, in theory. Bands with massive creative aspirations should be thrilled at the potential to make new and fantastic performance pieces, tying in their brilliant music with virtual worlds where everything from costumes to physics itself can be modified to fit their visions.

The problem is that the demo we’re getting for this strange new world is a recreation of the garage where Smash Mouth got together, and these boys are gonna jam on “Walkin’ On The Sun.”

Are you as thrilled as I am to relive this moment in musical history?

I wanna see massive stages falling out of the sky as the musicians thrash about on their instruments. I want to see crowds cheer in wonder and terror as they balance their need to hear the genius pouring forth from the stage with their intense desire to outrun the lava quickly approaching their positions. I want to thrill to new heights of performance while trying to keep my mind from going insane at the sheer lunacy before me, echoing with dark messages from another time and place.

Ooops, that’s a Metalocalypse episode.

The point is that there is so much to be done here and so much potential that this might not be the best way to demonstrate it. Musicians have been collaborating from great distances either in near-real time via ethernet networks (given, there is a little latency involved there) or by posting files on FTP sites (not real-time, but it does conquer the distance issue). It’s the virtual avatars and enviroments that make this interesting, but a variant on this has existed in Second Life for quite a few months now. And the last time I dropped by the Hummingbird Cafe, this marvel of technology presented me with . . . a solo acoustic player slogging his way through “Cheeseburger in Paradise.”

Ouch.

One of the first things I was taught about computers (after “10 PRINT ‘BUTT!!!’ > 20 GOTO > RUN”) was GIGO - Garbage In, Garbage Out. No matter how cool it is, it’s still going to be that song. I’m sure there are going to be other, much more impressive demonstrations, but seriously . . . Intel can’t pull better than Smash Mouth? Second Life is still giving me “Cheeseburger In Paradise?”

There are a couple shows coming up in Illinois that I may have to make spectacular work and driving arrangements to catch. Unfortunately, they’re both on the same day, so that narrows it down quite a bit. November 13th has both Meshell NDegeocello playing at the Chicago House of Blues and the non-animated, touring version of Dethklok playing in Carbondale. I wouldn’t normally be too impressed at the latter, except that the touring version features Mike Keanelly and Bryan Beller, two EXTREMELY impressive musicians that will no doubt have all kinds of fun playing big metal song instead of their usual highly technical, Zappa-esque fare.

The Ndegeocello show promises to be a little different than the last one I saw in Chicago, in that she probably won’t leave the stage when confronted with fans expecting her more funky vocal tunes instead of the fusion jazz she was touring at the time. So that’s a must-see.

In any case, they’re both on a Tuesday, which means at least a day-and-a-half of travel time, ’cause I can’t make that drive, come back, and still be functional in the morning. Feh.